The Zimbabwe posts are on a brief hiatus as I cope with the effects of jet lag, homecomings, and a three-year-old nephew who is more or less in a hysterical state for 16 hours a day. In the mean time, some thoughts after 24-plus hours in transit from Joburg to New York:
1. South African hipsters discussing Sartre is not what you want to hear in the departures lounge at 1am.
2. Dubai International is like a retail Shangri-La – I mean, who WOULDN’T want to pick up a Swarovski crystal reindeer en route to terminal B?
3. The new no-holds-barred security measures for passengers arriving in the US aren’t half as bad as everybody says. My balls haven’t seen that much action in months.
4. Baghdad at night from 32,000 feet is like the Milky Way.
5. There is nothing at all to see over Greenland at 4am.
6. In spite of our best efforts to keep everyone out of the country, people will still sell their vital organs to come to the good ol’ U.S. of fucking A.
7. The NYPD is really not the best welcome wagon. Two cops had to escort a medical crew onboard at JFK to deal with a sick passenger. In trying to keep everybody in their seats while he received medical attention, they were full of whatever’s the exact opposite of holiday cheer. Our reception after 16 hours in the air went something like: “Welcome to America. Now stay in your seats AND KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS SHUT.”
8. There are times when you just ache to hear the word “gebrony.”
9. There is nowhere, anywhere, quite like New York.
10. It’s good to be home.